Public Speaking Essentials: Are You Ready To Be Loved & Appreciated?
The Context of our Own Acceptance, Confidence, and Validation.
The title “Are You Ready To Be Loved & Appreciated?” may seem misleading for an article on communication and public speaking, but bare with me. Communication, performance, and public speaking are not just about skills—they reveal something much larger: our own self-acceptance.
Good skills clearly serve as a foundation and a safety net, similar to a church that provides a structure for spiritual awareness but is not the awareness itself. In the same way, a rich arsenal of skills allows us to express various messages and content but we are the conduit through which it happens.
Simply put, beyond the basic required skills to communicate effectively or deliver speeches successfully lies a deeper and larger meaning; it is the context of our own acceptance, confidence, and validation.
The Secret Wish of Appreciation
If we are the vessels through which content flows, how can we expect others to accept and appreciate us if we do not first accept and appreciate ourselves?
When we step into the public realm, the parts of ourselves that we have not fully embraced are exposed. Nervousness, fears, inadequacies, and vulnerabilities that are often dormant in private life rush to the surface. Public speaking, more than any other context, dismantles our personal façades, revealing aspects of ourselves that we might prefer to keep hidden. It’s an almost magical process of uncovering truths.
Nowhere else are we so vividly reminded of the unaccepted pieces of our identity. These challenges—the nervousness, the fear of inadequacy, or the sense of vulnerability—are not just obstacles to overcome but also opportunities for profound self-discovery and growth.
The Roots of Vulnerability
From childhood, our original, wholesome state of self-expression is often dismantled or shattered. As children, we expressed ourselves spontaneously and authentically. As adults, we learn to project self-images that we believe will be accepted by others. Perceived reality becomes the currency we trade, often at the expense of our inner truth. We bury parts of ourselves—those that have been ridiculed, punished, or rejected—and these buried aspects inevitably emerge in moments of public exposure.
The Challenge
What makes public speaking challenging and difficult for most people is precisely the exposure of the parts of ourselves that have been brushed aside, ignored, repressed, or ridiculed.
The challenges of public speaking—and indeed of life—stem from a subconscious drive to confront and transcend these vulnerabilities. Paradoxically, it is by exposing them that we become most attractive to an audience. Vulnerabilities, when acknowledged and accepted, transform into strengths. This is the alchemy of the public realm: hiding creates tension and ironically proves that we have something to hide. Exposing and revealing generate connection and bonding. It proves we are human.
Celebrating Uniqueness
Society often celebrates sameness over difference, and from an early age, we are compared to others or pressured to conform. But true acceptance and appreciation—from others and from ourselves—require us to embrace our uniqueness. Everyone has the capacity to confront their fears, but doing so demands the courage to risk exposure and the grace to accept what is revealed.
Take-Away
Every person expresses themselves uniquely, but this uniqueness cannot shine through secrecy, imitation, or disguise. You may be more ready than you think to be loved and appreciated for the authentic contribution you bring to the world—yourself. I have a profound respect and admiration for those who take the courageous step of exposing their vulnerabilities, and the courage that it takes to welcome and accept them in public.
Speaking Engagements | Self-Development | Business Communication & Leadership
If you need coaching, call or text (323) 986-6363. My contact page is here
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I have learned one elementary truth: people are not their fears, their doubts, or the stories running loops in their heads. There’s a masterpiece inside every being. I live for transformation. My true aim is to empower, educate, and challenge self-imposed limitations. If there’s a thread that runs through everything I do, it’s this: if you want to be free, trust yourself. The development of self—especially self-reliance—is the education that matters most.
Every decision I have made is in fact a direction. It determines the quality of my experiences and their outcome. Therefore, I live by a code: my instincts and intuition run my life, not my mind. My mind is a precious tool for research, stimulation, creative ideas, and communication with others—not my guide, my guru, or my boss.
Outside of work? I keep my world simple, cooking like a madman, playing piano, researching, and writing. Humor—sharp and unrelenting—is my weapon against the dullness of small talk. I spend countless hours in conversation with my wife, deepening our understanding of life, each other, and the one thing that truly matters to us: awareness.
Critical Skills to Empower Your Journey & Light up Your Soul
Since 1989, upon founding the Eric Stone Studio in Los Angeles, I have been coaching professional actors & voice artists, as well as business professionals.
Today, I am a Husband | Performance Coach | Visual Artist & Talent Developer As an Actor & Director, I Worked in New York & Hollywood from 1979 to 2015 | Broadway | Soaps | & Dubbing Artist in over 400 Films & Animated Series |
“All Great Outcomes in Life Come from a Paradigm Shift in Perspective.”
