How to Improve Your Communication Style Dramatically

People might, though rarely, forget what you said or what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Dec 03, 2024

In today’s world, the ability to communicate well can make or break our success—personally, professionally, and even socially. Miscommunication or un-embodied expressions can lead to misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and potentially fractured relationships. How many of life’s pivotal moments, negotiations, or connections could have gone differently if we had expressed ourselves in any other way?

I have learned a great lesson: People might (though rarely) forget what you said or what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Effective communication isn’t just a desirable skill; it’s foundational. A clear message, grounded in purpose and delivered with presence, can transform a casual interaction into a life-changing opportunity. Whether you're leading a team, presenting an idea, or connecting with a loved one, the energy, intention, and focus you bring to your communication will always determine its outcome. Simply put, how well you communicate can change the trajectory of your life.

This article delves into the art and science of communication, exploring how tuning into your energy, clarifying your intentions, and adopting a powerful focus can dramatically elevate your communication style.

1. Energy is Atomic in Nature

Scientists have observed that our bodies and brains operate as intricate electrical systems creating fields that direct our thoughts, feelings, and even our intentions. It means that conscious focus affects the energy around us, which is why athletes and speakers perform better with mental priming, subliminal suggestions, or visualizations.

2. Intentions and Their Role in Communication

Intentions are indeed the true foundation of communication, aligning with the power of manifestation is rooted in intentionality. A study on healthcare communication found that practitioners who communicated with a genuine intention to connect achieved better patient outcomes. This happens because the practitioner’s intention subtly shifts body language and tone, making patients feel more understood and cared for. An intention changes perception and shifts outcome.

3. “Focus and Watching” are Skills

Research in cognitive science shows that when the brain is induced to “watching” rather than forcing a focus, it allows more natural flow and stimulates creativity. Individuals who practice watching their thoughts and intentions without interference have significantly lower cortisol levels and higher problem-solving abilities. The practical result of this approach can directly improve communication. Rather than reacting automatically, it becomes possible to “watch”, then gather our thoughts and energy to respond organically.

4. Communication Flow in Real-Time

When we observe our own thinking processes, we can navigate social and professional interactions more effectively. For instance, great jazz musicians write music as they play—whatever the instrument. They can improvise in real-time—but what they are really doing is using the language of jazz to express themselves in the moment. Nothing is rehearsed.

Mozart was also famous for composing as he played—not away from the piano. He could observe and adjust his responses to what he was hearing in real-time. When we observe before speaking for a nanosecond, we can hear the music of our own thoughts and feelings thus “composing” our communication in real-time.

Anyone trained this way can watch their intentions and the impact on their audience simultaneously. Adapting their tone and delivery based on audience reaction enables more authentic and inspiring communication.

Recommendations

Our energy, intentions, and focus form the pillars of powerful communication. By understanding and applying these principles, we can transform our style from one that simply conveys information to one that deeply resonates with others. Here are some practical steps:

Set Clear Intentions Before Any Exchange: Before entering any conversation or presentation, take a moment to clarify your purpose. This isn’t just about what you want to say but also about the emotional tone and connection you aim to establish. What do you want people to FEEL, THINK, SAY, and DO, before, during, and after the exchange? Strong intentions serve as the “backbone” energy of your communication.

Practice Observational Focus, or Perspective: Shift your idea of focus from a narrow linear point to a relaxed awareness, where you “watch” your words, feelings, gestures, and the reactions of others without forcing control. This detached yet engaged focus will allow your communication to flow naturally, creating space for a more adaptive, responsive interaction.

Make Time for Reflection and Adjustments: After a significant conversation, speech, or meeting, spend a few minutes reviewing how well your intentions, energy, and focus aligned. Did you write great music? Reflect on what worked and what felt off, adjusting your approach as needed. Make some notes, mental or otherwise. This consistent refinement will sharpen your awareness and improve your style over time.

As you begin to work with these principles, you’ll notice a subtle yet profound shift in your interactions. You may find that people respond to you with greater openness and that your message lands with clarity and ease.

Communication, at its highest level, becomes less about speaking “at others” and more about creating a shared space of understanding, connection, and purposeful expression. This, ultimately, is where true influence and authentic connection are born.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I have learned one elementary truth: people are not their fears, their doubts, or the ridiculous stories running loops in their heads. They are not the safe version they’ve crafted to please the world or their parents. No, people are geniuses waiting to explode onto the stage of their destiny. My job is to hand them the match. The world doesn’t need more clever minds chasing empty goals. It needs people who are awake, alive, and unapologetically themselves.

Life isn’t something I manage; it’s something I listen to. I trust life completely. Not as a theory, a new-age practice or a belief, but as an absolute—it’s who I am. Try to control life, and you’ll choke on your own limitations. I live by a single truth: my brain runs my life, not my mind. My mind is a precious tool for research and communication with others—not my guide, my guru, my boss, or my friend. Energy moves me, not ideas. I trust its intelligence, instinct and intuition. This isn’t philosophy—it’s physics. I don’t think, I wait to move, and flow. The thinking is in the flow—not separate from it.

To me, receptivity is the foundation of all responses and the root of action. I don’t deal in mediocrity; I deal in transformation. The kind that leaves you speechless when you realize who you’ve become. I see people in technicolor. I see their potential long before they do. I provoke, I challenge, I nurture, I lead, and I guide them there—not with formulas, but by breaking through the noise, false inadequacies, and self-doubt.

Outside of work? I keep my world simple. I cook like a mad scientist, travel to feed my senses, and play piano because it feels good and keeps me humble. At heart, I value space, reflection, and meaningful connection over busyness. Humor—sharp, unrelenting humor—is my weapon against the dullness of small talk. I also write daily and publish articles about leadership, art, freedom, performance skills, leadership, awareness, the mind’s folly, and what it means to be truly alive. My wife, the greatest partner, and I spend countless transformative hours in conversation, deepening our understanding of life, each other, and the one thing that truly matters: awareness.

I don’t have all the answers. But I know this: the education of self is the only education that matters. And the tragedy of our time is how few ever receive it. If there’s a thread that runs through everything I do, it’s this: trust life and trust yourself—it will set you free and bring you more than you could have ever imagined.

Husband | Coach | Visual Artist, Author, Entrepreneur & Talent Developer |

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

Speakers & Artists International